First thing I (almost) always say: No, there is no need to wipe your computer, we can just clean it up.

Question; So, do you have an up to date Anti-Virus program? Usual answer; I have McAfee/Norton, but the subscription has run out. Solution? If you have cash to burn get rid of McAfee/Norton and get either http://www.kaspersky.com/ or http://www.eset.com/ or check this list. If you are cheap then get Avast (or maybe AVG, though they have had some really bad press).

Thats the easy one out the way, adware/malware/spyware is a little trickier. I am yet to find a single program that can deal with all occurrences. I normally go with the classic Ad-Aware free edition by Lavasoft, but it certainly isn’t the be all and end all. The trick is often to run a search using the name that comes up. For example, a recent problem computer I came across had adware titled ‘AntiVirus 2008′ which pointed out every couple of minutes that the computer may be infected (really?!?!) and suggested downloading the program. This was effectively removed using http://www.superantispyware.com/ where Ad-Aware failed. I also strongly recommend that you use Microsoft’s Windows Defender regardless of whether you are already experiencing problems or not. There is a short list in this section of wikipedia to illustrate what is out there, but as I said, a search is normally the order of the day. Bonus tip here, free anti-adware programs need to be re-run manually, just do it every couple of weeks.

After you have dealt with all that it’s time to really get your machine back to it’s former glory. This is normally very simple. Control Panel>Add/Remove Programs. Clear out all that old junk that you never use. Now look to your system tray (bottom right corner), see all those icons which are taking up most the bottom of your screen? Do they all need to be there? You may not want to uninstall them (MSN Messenger being a great example here), but you probably don’t need all those programs right now. Go to each one in turn, open them up, find the preferences and disable any option which says something like ‘open on Windows Start-up’. Once you’ve done that click Start>Programs and look for Start-up Programs, then delete the shortcuts from there of the programs you may not need when you first boot.

I’m a little tense about saying this, but I’d hate to feel I was holding back… on XP: Start>Run>type msconfig and hit enter. You can then look across the tabs to Services. You can untick the background processes you don’t need, but please do so with extreme caution. If you’re not sure then either search it or leave it (latter probably being the case).

If this is the first time you’ve done a clean then this process will probably take you about twenty minutes (though first boot scans from anti-virus can take some time, maybe go do some weeding). By the end though you will have a slick machine that makes you grin all over.

Maybe this doesn’t solve your problem though. Maybe your computer has died a painful death and you can’t even boot it! This will more likely than not happen some day. Fear not, you can still recover your files by keeping a copy of Knoppix around on a CD. It has saved my skin and the hard work of many of my fellow students many a time (when they thought to come to me that is ). It’s a graphical desktop on a disk and is the saviour of many a sysadmin.

Note, there are almost certainly better ways, and I would always recommend doing your own research by reading some more reputable blogs and columns.

Correct drivers were not included. Why is this something the the OSS boys do so well with so little help yet a company with so much money for research do so badly? I mean, the drivers were available on the internet, I just couldn’t get on the internet to find them because the first set of drivers I needed were network drivers! Even when I used other machines I found the documentation was atrocious. I got that annoyed with it I had to give my computer to someone else to fix before I started beating it.

I’m not saying life’s a beach as soon as you go open source, infact its far from it. To be honest, my other problems were things that I would have just been used to before. Things like programs organised by manufacturer rather than what they do. Maybe this is why its hard to go back, you get used to something and you’re happy. Its like trying to revive an old relationship I guess, lets be honest, you broke up for a reason.

So in a couple of days Windows will be partitioned off and placed in a back corner of my machine. I’m not going to completely delete it this time but I’m afraid to say I can never embrace it again.